- Grab my--
- oh, I am so hungry.
- Then go make something.
- Oh, I'm so lazy.
- Last week's web cast
of "icarly,"
the most viewers we ever got.
- How many?
- 355,000.
- Holy cheese.
- Where have you been all day?
- Canada.
- I thought you were just going
to the art museum.
- I was,
until I fell asleep on the bus
and woke up in Vancouver.
I'm so done
with public transportation.
- Ah, it's not that bad.
You know, I was born on a bus.
- Huh?
- My mom's not good
at planning.
- You know, I'm not sure
it's fair to blame the bus
'cause you fell asleep.
- It's not just that.
Last week on the bus,
a hobo spilled chili on me
then continued to eat it
without a spoon.
- I can't believe
you went all the way to Canada.
- It wasn't a total lost.
I bought Canadian bacon
while I was there.
Who wants night breakfast?
- Me.
- Text message?
- E-mail from the president
of daka.
- Daka, the shoe company?
- Yeah.
- Read it.
- "Dear Carly, we're big fans
of your web show."
Wow.
- Cool.
- "We'd love to have
"a meeting with you
"in our Seattle office
"and talk about
"a business relationship
"between daka shoes
and 'icarly.'"
no way.
- That's awesome.
- Oh.
This is just sliced ham.
How dare those Canadians
try and pass this off
as some sort of fancy bacon.
- In five, four, three, two.
[Music]
* I know, you see *
* somehow the world *
* will change for me *
* and be so wonderful *
* live life, breathe air *
* I know somehow *
* we're gonna get there *
* and feel so wonderful *
* and it's all for real *
* I'm telling you *
* just how I feel *
* so wake up *
* the members of my nation *
* it's your time to be *
* there's no chance *
* unless you take one *
* and it's time to see *
* the brighter side *
* of every situation *
* some things are meant to be *
* so give your best *
* and leave the rest to me *
* leave it all to me *
* just leave it all to me *
- and this
is our conference room.
- Cool.
- Nice.
- I like it.
- Where did you get
the Turkey sandwich?
- Found it
on some dude's desk.
- All right.
Let's go over the game plan.
- What do you mean?
- We don't even know
what they want from us.
- Well, they probably know
that lots of people
watch "icarly,"
so I bet they want us
to promote some shoes
or something.
- Cool.
- Yeah, if they pay us.
We should get 50 bucks cash
or no deal.
- "Icarly"'s got
a huge audience.
We should get at least 100.
- Okay.
We'll ask for 100.
I hope they don't think
that's pushy.
- Yeah.
I'd hate for anyone
to think I'm pushy.
- I swear.
One minute my Turkey sandwich
was sitting there on my desk
and then gone.
- Get over it, braxley.
- I'm stupid.
- Carly.
Sam.
Freddie.
I'm Greg horvath,
president of daka shoes.
Please, sit down.
Have a seat.
We have a lot to discuss,
a lot to discuss indeed.
- A lot to discuss indeed.
- Our marketing team
is very familiar
with your web show, "icarly."
- Very familiar.
- Apparently, you're getting
300,000 viewers a week.
- More.
- Impressive.
And that's why daka
would like to advertise
our new sneaker on your show.
Daka's new tech foot.
- Awesome.
- Sweet shoe.
- That's so cool.
- The tech foot is our most
technologically advanced shoe
ever.
It has a pedometer,
so you know exactly
how many steps you've run,
walked, or jogged.
It has a foot warmer
for when your feet get cold,
and it even offers
Wi-Fi connectivity.
- I call it shoe-fi.
- Braxley.
- I'm stupid.
- So, how do you want us--
- lights. Screen.
- I'm Carly.
- I'm Sam.
- We love the new tech foot.
- Yes, the new tech foot.
- They're fantastic.
Mm-hmm.
- That's what we want you
to do.
- Carly and Sam
just talk about the shoes
while they're doing "icarly"?
- Exactly.
Because if your audience knows
that you guys love
the new tech foot,
then they'll go out an buy 'em.
- So how much
are you gonna pay us?
- Sam.
You don't say it like that.
So how much
are you gonna pay us?
- How much do you want?
- We want 100.
- Deal.
We'll pay you $100,000.
- Sam, Sam.
- Braxley.
- Now, $100,000
paid over one year comes to--
- over $8,000 a month.
- Do we have a deal?
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
- Excellent.
Just sign these contracts.
You'll get your first check.
- Whoa, wait.
Wo, wo, whoa. We want cash.
[Music]
- Keep it going.
Yeah. Keep it coming.
- This is good.
- This is fun.
This is a fun time.
* and I bought some stuff *
* 'cause you know I got paid *
* the other day *
Freddie, come over.
* I'm having fun *
* with daka's money *
* spending a ton *
* of daka's money *
* I'm a rich girl *
- looking good, Carly.
- Feeling good, Freddie.
So what did you buy?
- Oh, just this.
- New laptop?
- This isn't just a laptop.
This is the devaglia;
the finest, best,
most insanely awesome
portable computer known to man.
Listen to the sound it makes
when you open it.
[Music]
- Sweet.
- So what did you buy?
- Some awesome sunglasses
from Mercedes lens.
- Fancy.
- Okay.
Tell me what pair
you like better,
these--
or these--
- uh--
- or these.
- How many did you buy?
- I don't know.
I stopped counting after 30.
- Side five.
[Bell ringing]
[Makes sound]
- Are you guys having some fun
spending your tech foot money?
- Oh, yeah.
- What is that?
- Oh, well, since I refuse
to ride the bus anymore,
I made myself this bike
out of parts
I found at the junkyard.
- What's wrong with the bike
you already have?
- I don't have a bike.
- Yeah, you do.
It's hanging in the kitchen
right there.
- Well, too late now.
- What up?
- Built a bike. Later.
- Later.
- Hey, did daka deliver
the tech foots yet?
- Yeah.
They're up in the studio.
- Nice.
Oh, sorry.
- Carly, Freddie,
this is sonya, my personal chef.
- Yohoo.
- What?
- You hired a personal chef?
- Well, my mom doesn't feed me.
And since I got
some real money now, why not?
- Sonya, please make me
a grilled cheese sandwich
with tomato.
- Yes, Ms. Sam.
- I like grilled cheese
sandwiches with tomato.
- Make that two, please.
- Yes, Ms. Sam.
- I like grilled cheese
sandwiches with tomato.
- Tough nubs.
Sonya, I'm done with this plate.
- Dessert?
- I really shouldn't.
- I can make you cake.
- I'm thinking pie.
- I will make pie.
- Maybe it's just me,
but didn't the tech foot shoe
they showed us at daka
look better than these?
- Yeah.
I think you're right.
- Who cares?
I got a lady making me pie.
- They're kind of squeaky.
- Yeah.
They're just new.
Probably need to be broken in
a little bit.
- Right. True. Okay.
"Icarly" goes live
in 15 seconds.
- Let's shake it, baby.
- In five, four, three, two--
- hello, people.
- You're watching "icarly."
- I'm Sam.
- So I must be Carly.
- So Carly.
- So Sam.
- Why don't we tell everybody
about the insanely
awesome new shoes
we got the other day?
- You know, we should.
Okay.
These bad boys are called
tech foots.
- By daka.
- And not only
did they look cool--
- they have a built-in
foot warmer.
- They have a digital pedometer
to tell you how far you've run,
walked, or jogged.
- They even have
Wi-Fi connectivity.
I mean, who wouldn't buy
these shoes?
- Jerks.
- So quit being a jerk
and go buy yourself
a pair of tech foots.
- Woosh. By daka.
- Hula hula.
- Hula, hula, hula, hula,
hula, hula.
- Hey.
Your feet hurt, too?
- Yeah.
These tech foots
are killing me.
- Mine, too.
Oh, and last night,
I tried to use the Wi-Fi on 'em
and they crashed
my new devaglia.
And I think these things
are squeaking even louder.
- I know.
Mine are, too.
- Oh my gosh--
- what happened?
- I stepped
in a little puddle
and my tech foot shocked me.
- No way.
- And then,
they totally fell apart.
- Hey, thanks for telling us
to buy tech foots.
- Really awesome shoes.
- We want our money back.
- Well, we didn't sell you
the shoes.
- Fine.
Then, we're just gonna stop
watching "icarly."
- Yeah.
There's plenty of other things
to watch.
- I hate these stupid
tech foots.
[Music]
- Tech foot.
- This is bad.
- It's not that bad.
- Thousands of people
wearing the worst shoe
in history
'cause of icarly,
'cause we told them
how great they are.
- This is bad.
- I need some milk.
- What happened
to your homemade bike?
- I chained it up by the curb
for a few minutes
and one of those
street sweeper truck things
came by and sucked it right in.
- Well, maybe you should
just start riding the bus again.
- Not happening.
I'll just get around
the old fashioned way.
- You're gonna walk everywhere?
- No. I'm gonna blade.
- So what are we gonna do
about these jankfoots?
- Well we better do something
unless we want icarly
to keep losing viewers.
- Blubbery muffins?
- What?
- Blubbery?
- Blueberry.
- Sorry, sonya,
we're too upset to eat.
- How about this.
We go talk to the guys
at the daka,
tell him everything that's wrong
with the techfoots,
and then maybe they'll fix 'em.
- I think that's smart.
- Sam?
- Oh, sorry, I was lost
in this muffin.
[Screaming]
- If you need me,
I'll be at the gym.
Will you get the door?
[Music]
- Hey, hey,
it's the icarly team.
How you guys doin'?
- Not so great.
We need to talk to you guys
about the tech foot.
- They have a ton of problems.
- Problems? Like?
- Well, first,
they squeak really bad.
- And the Wi-Fi
crashed my computer.
- Carly got shocked
when she stepped in a puddle.
- And then
they practically fell apart.
- And when I throw 'em away,
they exploded.
- You know when you put out
a new shoe.
They always have a few
minor problems.
- Minor?
- What would be
a major problem?
- If they came to life
in the middle of the night
and ate your family.
- I live alone.
- Look, either you make
the shoes
work like they're supposed to--
- or we're never gonna talk
about 'em on icarly again.
- Yeah.
- Look.
You signed a deal
with daka shoes
and you took our money.
So you're gonna keep talking up
the tech foots on icarly
or you're gonna be in big
legal trouble.
- We're not scared of you.
- Yeah, my uncle
happens to be a lawyer.
- I thought he got arrested?
- Shhh.
[Music]
- Here's another one.
Why don't you icarly jerks
come over to my house
so I could put on
my new tech foots
and jump and down on your faces.
- This is awful.
- I know.
Half our audience hates us,
and we're completely
out of blubbery muffins.
- Look, on icarly tonight,
you guys got to tell everyone
that tech foots bite.
- No thanks.
I don't wanna get sued
for everything I have.
- What do you have?
- Oh, yeah.
- Spencer.
- What happened?
- One minute
I'm blading down hill street,
feeling good,
on top of the world,
and the next thing I know--bam.
I got a face full of dumpster.
Well, that's it.
From now on, Spencer's walkin'.
- Didn't Spencer
go to law school
for, like, 20 minutes?
- Three days, thank you.
- Well, do you think
you could help get out
of a contract?
- What? The tech foot one?
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- Well, I have to read it,
but if there's one thing
I learned in my 72 hours
of law school,
it's that every contract
has a loophole.
- So you'll help us?
- Sure but not right now, okay?
I just had to walk eight miles
to get home
and I'm tried and sad.
- You wanna nice bowl
of hot soup?
- Yes please.
- Sonya.
[Music]
- In five, four, three, two--
- hey.
- Okay, this is icarly.
- And before we do
anything else tonight.
- We wanna talk to you guys
some more about the incredible
new techfoot shoes we told you
about last week.
- We're gonna show you
all the reasons why techfoots
are so unique.
- Hey, Carly.
- Yes, Sam.
- Do your feet ever get hot
and sweaty?
- Only always.
- Well, that's not a problem
with techfoots.
- Don't I know it.
- 'Cause all you got to do
is get 'em a little wet.
- Like when it rains.
- And then
you can just shove your toe
to the front like this.
- How wonderful.
And now
our technical producer, Freddie,
will show you another cool thing
about the techfoot.
- Okay.
If your computer's hard drive
is cluttered
with a bunch of files, music,
and precious pictures of family
and friends.
Techfoot does an amazing thing
with Wi-Fi technology.
See, you just sync the pedometer
up to your computer
and it wipes out
your entire hard drive.
- Isn't that great?
- We're going over there.
- We'll go over there--
- and wait till you see this.
- For those cold winter days.
- Every tech foot
comes with a built-in
toe warmer.
- And if you turn
the toe-warmer on high.
- Like this.
- Then bang it on the table.
- It magically catches on fire.
- Isn't that handy?
- That'll keep
your piggies warm.
- And not only that--
- it's also perfect for--
- roasting weenies.
- So go out right now
and buy yourself
a pair of tech foots.
- Cause this is one hot shoe.
[Music]
- You were warned.
I warned you.
Did I warn them?
- Oh, yes you warned them.
- Not only did you violate
your contract
by not saying good things
about the shoe,
you besmirched the name
of the tech foot
by criticizing it.
You think
that I won't take legal action
against you?
You think
that I'm above suing children?
Well, I'm not.
So I hope
you have a good lawyer.
- Oh, we do.
- Gentlemen, I'm their lawyer,
and this is my necktie.
- Cool tie.
- Yeah? Where did you get it?
- Socco's brother, Tyler.
Now I understand
that you're peeved
at my clients.
- They were in violation
of a signed contract.
- Your contract states only
that the members of icarly
must comment on your shoe,
the tech foot,
in a positive way.
- Which they didn't.
- Wrong sir.
I reviewed the Webcast
in question,
and they only said
positive things
about the tech foot.
Exhibit "a."
- And then
you can just shove your toes
to the front
to cool 'em off like this.
- How wonderful.
- Exhibit b.
- Like a magic eraser.
- Isn't that great?
- And exhibit c.
- It's also perfect for--
- roasting weenies.
- How wonderful.
Isn't that great?
Roasting weenies.
Those sound
like very positive comments.
Wouldn't you agree?
'Cause I sure think
a judge would; Certainly one
who enjoys weenies.
- And we're gonna keep talking
about the tech foots
in a positive way.
- Just like we did tonight.
- To over 300,000 icarly fans
every week.
- Why are we huddling?
- I don't know.
They're doing it.
- All right.
If you'll stop talking
about the techfoot
on icarly completely,
then we're prepared
to buy you out
of your contract.
- For how much?
- Ten thousand.
- Twenty thousand.
- Fifteen thousand.
- Thirty thousand.
- What?
- And you have give
full refunds
to every icarly viewer
who bought jinkfoots.
- Techfoots.
- I know what I said.
- And what if I say no?
- Then we sue you.
- All right.
Braxley, write her out a check
for $30,000.
- Nuh uh. Cash.
- All right.
- Blubbery muffins?
[Music]
- I'm stupid.
- Keep it coming.
- This is good.
- This is fun.
This is a fun time.
- Where are we going?
- Can you not try
not to talk so much?
- Just give me a hint.
- Oh, look
who keep saying words.
- But why can't you tell me
why I have to wear
this blindfold?
- Hey, just be quiet
and take off your blindfold.
- What is this?
- A motorcycle.
I bought it for you
so you don't have to ride buses,
or jinky bikes,
or Rollerblade into dumpsters.
- You spent your tech foot
money on me?
- I got it 'cause of you.
- You.
- Stick this on your head
and get on.
- Okay.
[Music]
Where are we going?
- Canada.
- See, you love their bacon.
- I do.
- Even if it is just ham.
- It's good ham.
- All ham is good ham.
- Touche.
- You there.
- You wanna see us do stuff
you can't see anywhere else?
- Do you?
- I think they do.
- Then go online
to icarly.Com.
- Yeah, go to icarly.Com.
- Once you get to icarly.Com,
you can see me and Carly.
- And Freddie and Spencer
do all kinds of wacky,
fun stuff.
- You know you like wacky,
fun stuff.
- So go online to icarly.Com.
- And see stuff
you can't see anywhere else.
- Only at icarly.Com.
- So go there.
- Do it.
- Seriously.
Captioning performed by peoplesupport transcription & captioning